Two Weeks & Healing

It's now been two weeks from today that I fell. As you can see, my knee is healing. I don't have as many stabbing pains now and am getting a lot more movement from it. I can now walk up the steps using both legs (without pain). I am very thankful that the healing is moving along so quickly. If this would have happened a few years ago, I know that it could have been a much more serious health situation. Thank you God!

I just have to share with you all this little story...
yesterday I was going into a store when a little girl about 3 sees me and tugs on her mom's arm... "mommy, mommy... big BIG boo boo!" I could see that the mom was a little bit embarrassed. I told the little girl "yes.. it is a big boo boo." She looked up at me and said "did you cry?" I said "yes, I did cry." She said "I'm sorry". What a sweet blessing that little angel was. Up until now, no one has said that they were sorry. As I walked away, I said "Thank you God for blessing me through that little girl." I sure miss my preschool friends :(

God's grace, healing, and blessings

God is soooo good. He loves us so much that he tries his best to teach us something new every day. I've learned over the past week to be grateful for what I use to think was a run down body. I'm grateful that I will soon have the ability to walk again. I'm grateful that he has touched my body in a way so that it can heal itself. I've learned that nothing is worth anger when pain is a result. And I've learned that instead of 'getting mad, raising my blood pressure, and stressing out' that it really takes a lot less time to just say "God Bless YOU". I'm not saying that I don't get irritated or angry any more, but with the energy that is created from such negative feelings, I choose now to say "God Bless" to the situation or the person who seems to bring on those feelings. I don't know what made me think of this but I was out and about today (THANK YOU GOD, with out much pain) and someone just cut in front of me causing me to slam on my brakes. Instead of getting all bent out of shape, I just heard myself say "Well, God bless you." And knowing the idea of reciprocality, I know that instead of my negative thoughts to the person who has 'wronged' me, I know that if I ask God to bless them, I'm really asking God to bless me too. I think this is going to work out just fine. :)

And I am soooooo happy and thankful that the pains in my knee aren't near as bad as they have been. I do think that healing is well on its way now. It still doesn't look too good. But I'm still glad that the terrible throbbing and the sharp stabbing pains are gone.

I went to the mall today and people couldn't help but look at my knee. I felt so yucky, but I carry my booboo as a reminder and as a teaching tool. When given the opportunity to share, I do. I went to the bank yesterday, and the cashier asked me what happened to my knee and of course she said how bad it looked. And I told her the whole long story (no one was in line :)) and at the part when I explained that we had had so many people park in our spot and got no help in keeping them out, she began explaining that she wouldn't let that happen if it were her spot. And this is the part I love most about being a teacher... I got to share with her what I'd learn through this experience... anger turned outward can hurt us. I also learned that if I communicated sufficiently with those in charge that something would be done. I don't think I did a good enough job before I got hurt. I think that by going in to the office face to face and really being forceful and putting the problem into their hands that that's what did the trick. We haven't had anyone park in our spot since.

Deep sigh... well, enough therapy for today. Gotta go make potato soup for hubby (his request for dinner tonight)

Boo Boo 5 days later

Here it is 5 days since the tramatic fall and I guess I'm healing. If I don't stand or walk it's ok. The pain of the 'goose bumps' only happens every once in a while. BUT, if I attempt to stand or walk.... OUCH!!! I think it's just because of the scabbing. I can't wait for this drama in my life to be over.

I remember...

Where were you when you first heard the news of 9/11?

I will never forget that day. I was getting ready for school. I was teaching a preschool special ed class. I had a 2 hour bus ride from one end Oahu to just outside of Pearl Harbor. I wanted to stay and listen to hear more and more, but I knew I could not miss that bus.

So, as I stepped on the crowed bus full of people who were from various Asian countries, the stillness was so over powering it was as if death rode with us. Usually there were words being spoken in languages I couldn't understand and laughter made the ride go more quickly. But not that day... silence...

I could see on the faces of the old women who sat in the front of the bus memories from other times of attack come flooding back to the present... it was so erie.

When my stop came, and I got off the bus... early in the morning... 5:30... I walked the 2 blocks to the school that sat right on Pearl Harbor... I seemed to have stepped back in time when this island of Oahu was attacked... there were flags in every window that I passed... how did they get there so quickly? The school was so still, the teachers' faces so blank... the children whom we taught were mostly military dependents... the questions on their faces... the helplessness... the vulnerability...

I will never forget that day....

Disaster in the Parking Lot! I need your help

I know this is really weird posting this as I've done, but I've found that sometimes writing is the best form of therapy for me.

You see, I'm dealing with pain, injustice, and anger today. Rick and I live in a wonderful apartment complex. It's beautiful here and up until this summer it has been so peaceful. Looking out our front window we gaze upon a salmon filled pond where eagles and Canadian Geese come to visit.

But lately there has been a lot of loud obnoxious people who have moved in. It's hard being a teacher and trying to teach preschoolers that it's important to follow rules (because doing so keeps us all safe) and then having to live in a community where there are rules, but some choose to obey and others do not.

This whole summer we have had these 'new' people who have just moved in to park in our reserved parking spot, yelling obscenities, leaving kids run up and down the sidewalks and riding skateboards where ever they want. I guess I'm growing old and just can't put up with this behavior any more.

I've had to call the office 5 times in the past 2 weeks because as soon as my hubby goes to work at night, someone pulls into our parking spot and then when he comes home in the morning, there's no where to park. He sleeps during the day and works at least 12 hours during the night, so every minute is valuable to him when he gets home.

After calling the office on Tuesday, reporting again that someone was parking in our spot, I was becoming angry that people can make choices and not have to pay the consequences of those choices (like moving their cars).

Well, last night (Thurs) another car parked in our spot only a few minutes after Rick left for work. I was so upset. I went out to put the note reminding this person that they were parking in a reserve space (as directed by the office people) I let the anger of the situation get the best of me and when I went to turn to go inside, I fell. And fell hard. This is only one spot on my body that was torn apart by this anger and rage. Both of the palms of my hands are black and blue, my shoulder is bruised, my abdomen was in a great deal of pain. All this and what for??????? I wish I could let go of getting angry when I see injustice.

The pain of my injuries didn't set in until I called management again sharing my feelings of anger and not being able to do anything about this. Little did I know at the time that there was a large 'ball' the size of an apple sticking out of the side of my knee.

After my anger calmed down a bit, I saw what I had done and I prayed "Oh, GOD, forgive me of my anger and heal this spot on my knee. I don't have health insurance and I can't go to the emergency room. Please God, touch this spot and make it go away." I rushed to the freezer, got as much ice as I could, put it in a bag and found the closest chair took 4 Motrin... put my leg up and called Rick.

He came to check on me with bandages and love. Fixed me all up. Kissed me and made me feel a little better. But I could see the look of concern in his eyes at the knot that had grown on my knee. He had to get back to work but told me he would be back as soon as he could.

I was exhausted and in pain. Worried and scared. He finally returned in a few hours. And the first thing out of his mouth was "You won't believe this. There was a new car that had just pulled into our spot and it's 1:00am in the morning!" Rick did get the guy to move and I fought hard to refrain from allowing my anger to again rise up inside me.

This morning after making a trip to the drug store to get some free medical advice, I hobbled into the office. Told the manager what had happened and showed him this knee.I do thank God that the swelling had gone done, but I'm left with this very red, scrapped up, sore hurt. We are now taking steps (so to speak :) on getting the next person who parks in our spot towed. If it happens again, which I know it will, the person will have a hard to get off sticker placed on their windshield and then their car will be towed.

Help me with this.... what would you do???? If you are one of those 'calm' type people who are not type "A" like me, I'd love for you to help me get through this. Help me to learn how to let go of all of this. I know with my mind that life is too short to spend what little time I have left wasting it on people who don't really care about me or my health. I want to learn to release this anger so the pain that I feel now in my knees and the ache that flows through my body will be gone. I will listen to all who can help me.

The WAIT is on...

I have always had a dream of becoming a writer.
In my teaching career, I've done so much writing and in every school where I've worked I've been asked to help the administration with items that they have to write.

In college I was told that I had what it takes to create "A Great American Novel". I don't know about that. But I do have a really neat idea for a series of books for preschool children and their teachers and parents. I'm very excited about this possibility. A few months ago God gave me this whole idea and I did what I was told... wrote the story, created what all will go into the books, and now it's done.

Today, I finally sat down, took care of all the 'business' stuff of submitting the manuscript and tonight it will go in the mail. Now all there is to do is wait. From the information that was given by the publishers it could take from 4 - 6 weeks for a response. So, I will wait. I don't want to see a stamped self addressed envelope in my mailbox in a few weeks... I will wait. Watch with me as the ticker on my home blog moves closer to the day I should hear. Let me see... 4 weeks would be mid-October, 6 weeks, the first of November. The Wait is on :)

Ok, here we go...

With a lot of coaching from Rick (dh) I've decided to put down my knitting needles today for a while and work on getting my manuscript ready to send to the publishers. All I really need to do is clean it up a bit, and put it into the required double spaced form that they require. Those are my goals for today. If I am really on a roll, I will write my bio as requested, too. We will just have to see. :) Gonna go put on some Hawaiian music, say a prayer, and get inspired...